Teaching

How do I put this? Teaching is…simultaneously the hardest, easiest,
and most tiring thing I have ever done. Just so you have an idea of my
schedule, I teach 23 classes of about 60 kids each, for a grand total
of over 1,200 students. This is a pretty standard class size for
China. If you have 1.2 billion people, you can’t have class sizes of
30 or less. It just ain’t gonna happen. Because English conversation
is considered a “light” subject, I teach mostly in the evening, when
all the electives take place. Some days, like today, I don’t finish
teaching until 10 pm.

And this is what makes teaching hard or easy. The kids I have earlier
in the day are wonderful. They are engaged, excited, and eager. The
ones I start teaching at 9 pm are an utter nightmare. For example, the
other day, I taught my earliest class at 11 am. The kids were great. I
was doing a unit on jobs. They were having great discussions about why
people choose their jobs. This one girl wrote such an awesome
advertisement for a tour guide job that I just about burst from pride.
I wanted to frame her paper and keep it forever. It was an awesome
day.

And then there are days like today. My 8 pm class didn’t do their
homework. Not a single person in a class of over 60 people. And it
wasn’t like I assigned anything much. They were supposed to make a
nametag with an English name for their desks. No big deal, right?
Except none of them did it! So I tell myself, ok, fine, I teach an
unimportant subject, they might ignore the homework. So I move along
with the lesson. There is your standard amount of not paying attention
for that time of the night. I have to use all my breath support not to
strain my voice. The usual. But then we move into the activity where
they write their own ad for a fictional job at a fictional company. I
heard a good buzz of conversation for the fifteen minutes and I even
saw some people bent over their desks like they were concentrating.

Boy was I wrong.

Not a single group completed the task.

They didn’t even try! Not a single group! I’m used to a few slackers,
but not an entire class. I have never been so mad in my life. I
threatened them with everything from Hell to the headmaster if they
ever pulled anything like that ever again. Hopefully it will be
enough. I have no idea what to do with this sort of classroom
management situation. None whatsoever.

I have been struggling with what to do about my class size and
learning dynamics. I have been fortunate to have an excellent
education with personal time with my teachers. These experiences were
invaluable to my academic and personal development. I want to give
these sorts of experiences to my students, but there is no way I will
learn all their names, much less get to know any of them.

And then there’s the problem that English conversation is considered a
fluff topic because it’s not covered in the gaokao. The gaokao is the
dreaded Chinese high school exit examination. English grammar is an
integral part of the test, but speaking and listening are excluded.
The result is an entire generation of Chinese who can read away but
can’t think to carry a simple conversation.  So my class is
unimportant. The head teacher even made a point of telling my
assistant that I could play hooky whenever I want because my class is
pointless.

This attitude is pretty pervasive in the student body as well. There
are the great students who love English and learning, but there are
also those who don’t give a rat’s ass. I have been struggling with
these different forces in determining how much I should put into my
job. On the one hand, I want to inspire these kids and make them want
to learn this language I love so much. On the other, there is such
institutional inertia that this is unrealistic. On the one hand, I
want to help the kids who struggle, but on the other hand, I have so
many students that there is no way I can even identify them
accurately.

A lot of the expats I have met tell me I should teach the ones who
want to learn.

On my good days, I bristle at the suggestion. I want to teach them
all! And they’re all going to be brilliant, and have doors opened to
them, and have awesome lives! Each individual is special and needs to
be nurtured! These are the thoughts I have when I leave a good class.
It’s very American of me to think that everyone deserves a shot and a
fair try. China does not work this way. I can feel the Chinese
teachers and my assistant as well just look at me knowingly. They
think I will lose this idealism. They are probably right, but it’s
easy on good days.

And then there are days…like today… when I understand why Chinese
teachers still beat their students.