Expectations

September 5, 2013

Surprise, surprise, Yuncheng is not like Milwaukee. From the air, I
first thought was that it looked like Davis or Sacramento. That wasn’t
a bad thought because I quite like Davis. But then I landed.

The teachers from English Village, the English collective trying to
bring more teachers to Yuncheng, gave us the most ecstatic greeting I
have ever seen. They knew us all by name and insisted on carrying our
baggage. They then proceeded to drive us to our hotel. I have never
been so unnerved by a 30 minute drive in my life.

People have described Yuncheng as “developing” in the past 36 hours.
Thus far, that seems to be inaccurate. From just the car ride, it
seemed clear to me that Yuncheng is developing at the state’s pace,
not the market’s. Like Shanghai, there is construction everywhere. But
unlike Shanghai, the sites sit empty of workers, buildings decaying
even as they are built. Whole apartment complexes stand empty, the
walls collecting grime that contrasts sharply to the concept art on
display. A road that was built like a main thoroughfare was empty at
rush hour. People drove like all the worst rumors you have heard about
China. In Shanghai, at least some semblance of order rules the roads.
In Yuncheng, it hearkens to the Wild West. All of it points to big
plans with no grassroots support to make them happen. I kept thinking
the city seemed sick. It is depopulated for its infrastructure, which
to me usually indicates economic illness or an actual disaster.

In the space of that drive, I realized that Yuncheng is not Davis, and
nor is it Milwaukee. It is Tijuana, before the current revival.
Yuncheng has evident levels of dirt and poverty that so far I have
associated with Mexico, especially rural Mexico. I suppose this
thought should have comforted me, but it Mexico I can speak the
language, which makes all the difference. So at that point, I was
starting to panic.

The hotel didn’t improve matters much either. The hallways were dark,
the bed was harder than I thought possible, and my room overlooked a
garbage heap. I was desperately trying to keep a positive attitude,
but I could feel it slipping. Then our hosts took us out to dinner,
which helped. The food was quite good, and unfamiliar to me. Cold
dishes and spicy food with dark vinegar predominated. One of the
teachers taught us how to play a drinking game called “Boasting.” It’s
basically the Chinese version of B.S., but with dice and baijiu.

This morning I was placed at Lin Yi No. 1 Middle School. According to
the English Village folk, it’s on of the best middle schools in
Yuncheng. I must have done something right because I have my own
complex. Not an apartment, but a complex surrounding a courtyard. I
have a bedroom and a sitting room, kitchen and bathroom. All this used
to belong to the headmaster at some point and it’s right next door to
the school. I had internet earlier today, but it cut out. When it was
working, it was actually the fastest connection I have had in China so
far. I think with a little nesting it will be quite cozy.

I was not so optimistic when I first arrived, however. The apartment
had not been inhabited in over a year, but I did not know that at the
time, so all I saw was a filthy apartment, peeling paint, and
decorations for a 60 year old Chinese man. I had to take some very
deep breaths to keep myself calm and collected. It was not helping
that I had just been separated from the group of people who also found
themselves in the same predicament. We clung to each other in Shanghai
because there was nobody else. You get really close, really fast when
you share the same goals and fears. And then they were gone, and I was
along with my assistant, who lives across the courtyard.

This is where going far away to college came in handy. My pre-college
self would have felt the panic clawing away at her composure and would
have probably burst into tears. And I was close to feeling as scared
as I did before college. This feeling of disjointedness certainly felt
akin to orientation. I’ll be truthful, at that point, I thought about
packing my bags and booking it back to Shanghai. In fact, I was even
considering leaving Ameson entirely and go look for a job on my own
terms. But then I remembered that college didn’t destroy me. And then
the determined part of me decided that this wasn’t going to be the
thing to beat me. And then I calmed down. I proceeded to distract
myself with cleaning. Now my floor shines, my
slightly-softer-than-rock-hard bed calls to me, and I am relatively at
peace. I feel like I can, in fact, do this. Let’s just see how long
that feeling lasts.